June 6th'24 11am

Well, this week won’t be one of those, I’ll be proud of… or using as an example. 

I slept in today.. woke up into a beautiful sunny day. I finished my morning meditation and done a lot of small things I was pushing my pain aside for a while. 

My Ta-Da List from this morning:

Now, I have a long To-Do list to finish and working on it nicely. Sounds good, right?

Emotionally, I’m a mess… anger and tears… and sadness… I’m numb and I’m hurting so much. I’ve never been hurt like this in my life.  I wish I would have died… and yet, I’m planning my summer like it’s gonna be the best summer of my life.

I had big plans for these last few days. I talked myself out of it. Instead I’m back to a glass of wine and cry every evening. 

xxxxx

You know what. I just should get on with my To-Do list and I’ll talk to you later. I will collect my thoughts and tears and make an art out of them. 

xxxx

I calmed myself down and decided to put all that pain and tears into my next painting.

xxxx

October 22nd'25 4.40pm Wednesday

I just read the short part I wrote over a year ago... I went skiing today. I have to train for my exams and my winter season... and I cried... I need to leave this place. I need to reminded who I am...

xxxxx

Meanwhile, I hope you are doing better than me. Keep fighting... you are worth it!!! You are amazing and you can do this!!!