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February 4th'23

Jan 6
1 min read

Updated: Feb 3

Butterflies...


I knew R for sometime. I knew of him for a few years by now. I used to see him in the climbing gym with his girlfriend. I used to think I would like to have a man like him in my life...


Earlier this year, after I payed of my dept and finally felt happy in years, I met him again in the same climbing gym. He was a great climber, very precise and committed... and way better than me. I chatted with him a few times.


I was just having a time of my life... Finally free and confident that I can do anything, strong as never before.


Today, I made plans with my friend Claudine to go ice climbing... At the lift I ran into R. He took the lift with us... and something happened... suddenly, I smiled differently... I felt something I haven't felt in a very long time... in fact in years...

He smiled back...


We started chatting... the cute way...


xxxx


 
 
 

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It's R's birthday... I hope I won't message him this time... I just some of sooo happy pictures of them... It threw me into a panic attack. The only thing I felt was the numbing pain of emptiness and

 
 
 

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