July 6th'25 Summer holiday and blues

Some days I'm doing just fine... and some days feel like everything just happened and I'm back in the darkest moments.

I feel like I've been only working and struggling this year. Ok, that's not fair. I had a few good days.

I need to leave this place. I need to go somewhere, where I will feel appreciated again. Where I can share how I feel without being laughed at and judged and criticized.

You know, when you feel the weight of the entire world and more and it keeps coming and you are crushing underneath. That's how I've been feeling lately.

I haven't had time to paint or write. I've been just people pleasing. And I feel like shit.

xxxxx

Dear R,

The wounds are still bleeding. What did I do to you? Why didn't I... I'll never know answers to my questions. I'll never understand. I was never given a chance. You left me at my worst with an excuse.

xxxxx

I've been planning to leave this place. I have to. I've struggling too long. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Fingers crossed for my wither plans... and the ongoing ones as well.

xxxxx

My thoughts are all over the place these last few days. I wanna run away from myself. I'm telling you that cause I know you feel me. You know what I mean. thank you for being here for me.

xxxxx